Who would have believed...it actually
rains in the rainforest.
Torrential. I think I've had more soakings in the past week than I have from my entire trip to date. But so it goes hand in hand, with a little slice of this magical wonderland. I've finally made my way into
The Amazon. The name itself is enough to send the mind into an imaginative childlike frenzy. And I'm merely squatting at the tip of the iceberg; the
Ecuadorian percentage covers no more than a minute portion of some seven million square kilometres which make up the entire basin. Dilute that slice even further, and you will find where I've wound up - in a protected reserve encompassing the
Cuyabeno River & it's neighbouring surrounds. I'd been quite sceptical of the proclaimed bio-diversity in this area, and therefore found myself running blind; bounding away from
Baños with no clear vision of what I was looking for, or what was even out there. The plan
had been to catch a river boat downstream along the
Napo all the way into
Peru; but that idea fell flat on its face the moment I arrived into
Coca. No one was letting me in on anything. Information was impossible to come by & what more, the town itself was a bit of a shit hole. I found myself moping out across the water searching for answers. I guess nothing should ever be
too easy. I was after something
un-real,
un-forgettable. This was all seeming more & more
un-attainable if I didn't knock that stubborn-headed pride of mine to the floor, change my plans and place my faiths at the mercy of a gamble. Unlikely, but what was that phrase my old teachers used to preach??
Ahhh, that's the one:
"A change is as good as a holiday." I can't say I ever liked it much. More often than not I find it leads to even worse chaos & confusion. And after all...I was
already on holiday!
Tsk, tsk. Do you still think change could save me from
that?? Well it seems for once, it proved so...
 |
| Cuyabeno Reserve |
The mighty epicentre of
pie & barbershop was left behind before I could have someone else talk me into sticking around any longer. I was tempted to summit
Cotopaxi, after the wears & tears of my previous ordeal had taken time out to mend at least; but in hindsight I knew there would come many more epic mountains of which to conquer, and there was still a lot more yet to be done else wear in this
again surprisingly beautiful country. Earlier at the markets I'd acquired a brand new
Amazonicatie-dye t-shirt, and I'd be dambed to not step one foot across the borderline and denounce myself a fraud. But that was a lot of bus between me and the jungle; I'd have to break this journey up somehow. I felt my best bet was to make for
Baños, a popular tourist town where I thought I might be able to get some inside information, or jump aboard an out-going tour group. At the least, I should be able to meet a few fresh faces who were keen for a good time! It wasn't a long ride by any means, but the scenery warped into that of another time-zone indifferently; the only constant being the ever looming pyramidal monoliths that took rise out from the green forest like giant ant nests above a vast field of clovered grass. A furious river gouged itself through the valley floor, as waterfalls tumbled on over the high, un-stable looking cliff-faces that this torrent here previously created. There was a spectacular view point from the
San Fransisco Bridge, right beside the bus terminal, where folks were throwing them selves out into the void from an adjoined gang-plank, for no more than $20. I sure hope those ropes hold tight.
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| View from San Fransisco Bridge |
I soon discovered
Baños itself is pretty snazzy, aesthetically pleasing with lots of people and lots to do - but is there
really lots to do?? No, there is. No doubt. But I'd got there a bit too early in the morning & wound up walking around for a good six hours, much like I would everyday for
four years on those hour long lunch breaks back in
Taz making teeth.
Arrghhh...I sat in a café & ate biscuits to kill the time. Once I was done with that, I took my place upstairs on the hostels rooftop balcony with a Friday night cocktail consisting of books, beer & yogurt covered granola.
Thank god, for the ditsy
Yorkshirean! OK, so I could rest easy. My luck was fairing a lot better than this poor lass. The girl had left
Mother England all excited to see the big wide world, only to discover she hated it.
"I guess I'm just too English!" My mouth kind of dropped. It was like someone admitting themselves into cowardice. I don't think I'd ever heard such out-right truth before. Turns out
Yorkshire here couldn't hack it another day. After three hard weeks, she booked a brand new flight home, leaving behind her two
(kind of) friends, and the continent that I have come to
love!! However, the best bit was she didn't give a hoot! She
wanted to go back, and I couldn't help but to find it all hilarious.
Shefound it all hilarious! What a crazy bitch. We decided to get drunk & celebrate, so off into the semi-dead night-life we strode; in search of some redemption.
This next day was bike day.
Yorkshire & I had met a few fun loving chaps the night before, and we had all planned to ride the
Ruta de las Cascadas; pretty much a downhill bomb all the way from town, following the course of the river to the stunning
Pailón del Diablo waterfall.
Yorkshire had already done it yesterday...but she seemed to like us for some reason, and so still tagged along. My bike chain decided not to cooperate to begin with, and there were times where I was nearly cleaned up by a car when I hadn't noticed it had bounced off the gears. One cog seemed to work, so I stuck to it; even if that meant riding uphill in full slow strides. There was water beading out from the cliff lines everywhere, sometimes even down upon us! It was a very scenic ride. The couple was having a domestic in the background, but that was easily ignored; the views &
Yorkshires cluelessness kept me more than entertained until days end. Of all the falls, the last -
Pailon del Diablo was the most impressive. I've never seen such a raging gush of water spill over from such a height; the pool at the bottom was like a rough sea breaking into the confined space of a blowhole, churning like a whirlpool - bubbling like a witches
'cauldron.' You could even squeeze up behind it to hear its roar, bending down on all fours and wiggling your way through a cave like tunnel. It was well worth the day out. After, we all caught the bus back into town & I destroyed a well overdue lunch, before getting merry off an eventless night with a bottle of rum.
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| The Devils Cauldron |
Arrghhh shit! I hate these kind of mornings. It was Saturday night, how did
nothing happen?! I was feeling the toll of my night on the limón crisps & rum. Sure to be a long day...let's just clear out. I'd failed to find some companions for the jungle in
Baños; maybe I would have better luck in
Tena. Off I went, further towards the lowlands. I craved flavour in my mouth that whole fucking bus trip. I went nuts in the restaurant the moment I pulled into the bus terminal. It kind of helped - so did the heat once it made me sweat. Again, the town was nice but I simply found myself wandering. There was not much on offer. Most agencies I went into required a minimum of two people to even contemplate organising some kind of tour. That my friend is one of the banes of solo travel.
Two people can share a bed,
two people can share a taxi,
two people can buy groceries & share the bulk of the annoying large packaging. I found some kid, spinning a ton of basketballs on his fingers, visited the blow-gun statued man in the town square & ate more meat on a stick. That was
Tena.
Strike two...
Strike three, was
Coca...I should have seen it coming. I'd been offered a lot of tours back in
Baños but thought I could find something a little more
"authentic" further on down the line. Now I was the only gringo left standing this side of
The Andes, or so it felt.
Coca to
Iquitos was going to be a rough & lonely drift, and this old river was fat! I don't think I would have seen all that much bar my hammock & a crowded deck of sweaty men for a good week or more. I guess I could have worked on my
Spanish, but I wanted dark & mysterious, piranha infested waters; hanging vines & spiders the size of my hand, or spun webs the size of my mosquito net. Well now,
Nicky boy...ask & you shall receive. Or read the fine print...it often helps! I'd sent a bunch of emails out while I'd been looking around the towns for organised tours. It so happened that one had actually replied, but I misread the dates and had dismissed it immediately. Sitting miserable by a computer back in
Coca, I went through my emails once again...one wanted $450 for
three days, another didn't leave for a week...where the hell does everyone go out here?? I re-read the old one I'd dismissed...
"Ohh you bloody idiot!!" I was hoping it wasn't too late; it was perfect!! How did I not see all this?? It was getting late here in
Coca, and the tour left the next day from
Lago Agrio, a bit over two hours by bus to the north. The thing was, I had no meeting point & hardly any money on me. They better reply quick!! I waited, and waited &
BOOM!! There it was! I had a confirmation, and a meeting point!
Woohoo!! No night in
Coca, one more bus trip & I was set for the next four days!! I packed up all my crap in the Internet cafe, hailed me a taxi & jumped on the first coach out of there!!
I found all those elusive white folk hiding in the dank confines of a hotel restaurant early the next morning. There were swarms of them! Where had they all been?? A landing plane made a good ol' racket, nearly taking the crown off a nearby building as I gobbled my way through another hearty protein-rich breakfast, and it all seemed to fall into place. There was no way to know which people were in my group; I couldn't even remember what my lodge was
called - so I just sat and waited to see where all the young guns flocked. Surprisingly that tactic proved successful enough, I noticed a bunch of girls around my age piling into one of the mini-buses, and thought I'd join them despite. The cheapest choice is often the most fun. Who would want to be stuck on a row boat with a bunch of wilting expats; paying double for their exhilarating company?? 80% of rich old people are shit - a wise chap once told me. Shoot me when it's time. On that note, my lot where a thrill! I thanked someone, far off in a distant galaxy...this should be a fun few nights out in the sticks. There were three
Belgian girls, a sexy
French couple, this sweet
Ecuadorian family of four, a heighty
Austrian broad & one nasty
German ogre. There was even this
Ecuadorian lady who'd ended up settling in
Germany, popped out a kid & brought him along to meet her ex-boyfriend...who just so happened to be our tour leader.
Sheeeks! Romance was in the air!
 |
| Along the Cuyabeno |
There were actually
lots of things buzzing around in the air, as it turned out! Planting our arses snug into our motorised canoes, we took off down the
Cuyabeno; our guide
Lewis haunching over the bow, pointing out all kinds of wildlife even within the first few minutes in an unnatural rage of excitement. I thought
I had some energy...
Lewis took the word to another level. I became excited over little things that would normally never phase a split second of my attention. It wasn't long before it felt like we were days from any form of civilisation. The river curved sharply, in parts so narrow and so vegetated that we were forced to duck under the outreaching arms of falling trees, or lift the motor out of the water so it wouldn't snag on a stump. We spotted giant butterflies, even the orange-tinged
Monarch, which migrates across the
Americas in three-four generations. There were
Macaws,
Kingfishers,
Falcons,
Vultures,
Toucans &
Woodpeckers, just to name a few. Probably my favourite of all was the decorated
Hoatzin, which would flock to the river side in large groups & swing three at a time from hanging loops of vine much like a pendulum. There were also often troops of
monkeys, various in character, who would push their way through the upper reaches of the canopy in extravagant displays of flamboyancy. They would leap from branch to branch, seemingly defying gravity. It's like they always knew we were watching & wished to give us a little bit of that show they'd practised for
National Geographic.
 |
| Hanging birds nest high in a tree |
Once we'd all settled into our rustic lodgings, been fed till full with a delicious lunch & had a small mid-day siesta, it was time to visit the lagoon.
Lewis kept saying we were lucky to have such good weather (I thought he was full of shit until it poured for the next three days). I felt lucky either way; it
was truly spectacular. Trees poked out from the calm waters, tangled & deformed, creating an eerie atmosphere as we passed on by. The sun began to set, on what had been a near perfect day; and there we were - diving & leaping from the boat, splashing about in the mighty
Amazon! The lake water was warm, and apparently infested with
anaconda,
crocs &
piranhas...but that did little to spoil our spoils. The night was finished off with a
cayman hunt, and we found two babies chilling out in the shallows. Heading back, the skies were ablaze; stars flickered upon me like never before & far off on the horizon we could make out a distant lightning storm. This was everything I had wanted and more. Believe the hype...some places are popular for a reason.
 |
| Sunset over Laguna Grande |
Had I become one in the same as
Michelangelo?? My
David was split in half & wearing board shorts...better glue him back together then and fill those cracks with wax.
Ohhh, now I'm climbing rooftops with
JesseMunnings zipped on cocaine & crashing out at a beach side backpackers
somewhere I'd seen
sometime before...
DREAMS. I was back on the malaria tabs, and couldn't wait to get back off them. The Doctor had asked me if I suffered from depression; does that mean they'd still make me depressed even if I didn't?? And my restless nights had become all so the more entertaining of late. My head's already fucked up enough as it is!! An early rise. There were two
American girls I'd befriended hanging about at breakfast;
Rambo/Elvis had taken a liking to one of them & had tried to lure her up into the bird tower last night.
"I'll be your Tarzan, if you will be my Jane..." Arrghh, shit!! I wish
I could come up with pick up lines like
that!! We were soon off into the forest once again, this time up on solid ground. At least it began that way! After
Lewis passed on some handy tips of jungle survival & native medicines, we were back squelching through the mud in our gumboots. It was hilarious to watch. One thing I've learnt from my many years of
South-West Tasmanian bush-bashing, is how to handle leg-swallowing mud pits. I sat back & plotted my route as the diabolic unfolded before me.
 |
| Playing Tarzan |
The rains were ruthless that day. There were only a few brief moments of reprieve. Despite the lunacy, we decided to go
piranha fishing!! Totting wooden poles & nylon chord, we baited up and tried our luck. I forgot to bring my poncho, and was getting drenched. One of the
Belgian girls got a snare and a hefty fish came leaping out of the water!! I wish it had landed in the boat; the ladies would have got a good ol' fright! It turns out fishing for piranhas holds opposite to all other general laws of
regular fishing. We were told to beat the surface of the water with the ends of our sticks once we'd placed the hook, and the meat just seemed to disintegrate in the acidity of the river water. There was not much more good fortune, and the downpour became ridiculous. We turned about & headed back to camp.
I on the other hand, got my own fair share of luck when we were speeding back. My rod was dangling slightly over the side of the boat, and got caught on a branch, sending it skyward with the hook lodging right into my thumb!! Believe it or not, my thumb is still in one piece thanks to my thumb-
nail!! Pulling the hook out left a hefty dibbit. That could have ended a lot worse...I guess I could have told people I'd lost it wrestling crocodiles.
 |
| Fishing for piranhas |
We all got sucked into the lazy life that night, and became moulded into our hammocks. There would be no night walk, only whisperings of midgets with wooden legs instead. The next day was to be a long one; maybe it was good we took the rest. We left early after breakfast, bound for some local
Siona villages along the waterways. At our first stop, we had to walk about half an hour through more mud & rain, until we reached the community. Along the way
Lewis picked us out some interesting fast facts. There was this palm that can apparently "wander" so to speak, moving from one place to the next in search of better soil, out of the slush. The roots of this palm kind of look like giant dildos, and the men break them off, wrap them in leaf and offer them as "engagement rings" to their proposed brides. He also claimed this certain type of colourful ginger flower was used by the local women as sex toys. Once in the village, we were ushered into a classroom until the rains eased. It might have merely been 1st grade
español scrawled across the whiteboard, but I felt pretty flush with myself for understanding. I have to admit, I was feeling a little awkward in this place, but tried my best not to let it show. I often feel these kinds of things are set up more like a human zoo than anything else, and it feels like I'm taking the piss out of someones everyday living, as interesting and different to me as it might be. I guess it's a way for the people to carve out some extra income, and in that sense I tell myself I'm actually doing
some good.
Back in the boat, and we were off to our next destination. This time we were greeted on the shores by an overly friendly pet monkey who made a raping of
Lewis' face!! It looked like he was trying to suck out his eye-ball! We had some lunch, complimented by some freshly baked
pan de yuca (which we had previously watched being made), before taking our leave once more & heading off further down river. This next stop should be intriguing, I thought to myself as we docked on the slippery banks; there was talk this guy was a world renown
Shaman!! Lewis told us he'd once seen him walk right through a ceiba tree!! Or another time, when he'd dropped off some wheel-chair ridden cripple, only to return a month later not to recognise the lady
standing healthy in front of him!! Again, I was sceptical, but was willing to be baffled.
 |
| Nacho the Crazy Monkey |
He started out by ranting through his youth, his fathers prophesy of ascension, and how there were many
fake Shamans out there, but he was a
real Shaman. Then he started with the cool stuff.
MummaEcuador sat on his stoop and got haloed with some kind of tree branch. As he flicked the stuff around her, he sang in some strange tongue & clicked rhythmically. When that was done he called for another volunteer. I had to check this out, and gave myself over to
His Majesty. I layed outstretched across the stoop, shirt off; waiting for whatever it was he was planning to do to happen.
"Aarrghhh FUCK!!" I couldn't help curse to myself. He was plastering my back with some kind of prickly poison ivy!! He began to chant again as he lavished, my skin began to sting & burn. Despite this I tried my best to relax & had to laugh. When he was done, there were no leaves left on the branch. Someone translated for me,
"he says you were filled with much bad energy." Maybe he was right, I did need a good cleansing. To my surprise, within a few minutes the pain had turned to an unusual relaxation sensation, and I did truly feel cleansed!! It was astonishing; my back was alive with welts, but still I felt better than I had for weeks - calmer, stress-free & satisfied. Maybe there really is something at work here out in the jungle. It makes more sense to me than most other crap.
 |
| The magic of the Shaman |
We had a bit of a fiesta later that night back in camp, to celebrate the end of our jungle journey & the resulting return to civilisation. The
Belgians took off into the kitchen at some point to make chocolate bananas as a birthday surprise for one of the other girls, and left me stranded with some freaky
NewYork half-wo
MAN. All she would talk about was her
Shaman drug trip & how she felt like she had become an anaconda!! Then she continued about how horny it made her feel & that I should have brought some more back for us to do
that night...the ones
I get stuck with!! We left the next day, up river in the canoe, taking one last peak at the surrounding jungle. It was sad to leave. If the weather had been like that of the first day
everyday, I don't think I would have. Driving back,
Rambo/Elvis made a little detour to see the other side to the
Amazon no one seems to want to talk about. Not far off the main road (yet surrounded by forest), was a huge oil operation, dumping all its waste products into an adjoining swamp. It was disgusting. The irony being where the properties fence ended, and where the run off was dumped - outside that fenced zone. It made me think back to our first night at the lodge, when the guides had all gathered us together for our welcome. They told us how grateful they were for our visit; for if it wasn't for us tourists pumping international pressure & money into this protected area, there would be no
"protected" forest left standing. It put a nice spin on things, but all I could do was thank
them. They were the
real front-liners campaigning for the preservation of such a special & important area. I hope they keep on keeping on.
 |
| Lagoon Reflections |
As for me...I'm outta here!! It's time to jet back off into the mountains & make for
Peru!! There's been too much sitting around lately for my liking & no one likes a fatty. The
Cuyabeno proved it's worth, and if there are more chances to get deeper into the
Amazon, I'm sure keen to take that chance!!
Ciao, ciao for now my fellow friends,
I hope to hear from some of you all soon!!
Also, thanks to everyone at Guacamayo Lodge for such an unforgettable experience!!
I'm off to find me a Jane,
Much Lovin' Always!!
Tarzan xx
